Thursday, May 01, 2008



Finally... the last paper in my entire 4 yrs in NTU... though the paper had me stamping my feet in defeat... I was still glad tat everything was over... looking back... I am rather amazed by my very ability to have come so far... a lot had happened during the 4 yrs... and I am very fortunate to have someone very dear to me who support me on despite the distance tat separated us... not forgetting the three friends who never disown this somewhat aloof xiaoyang...

The first yr in NTU, I was very without a friend… and hf extended her friendship and kept this lost xiaoyang by her side… showing me the way around n keeping me informed of everything tat I always not noticed or knew… then gradually… I gt to befriend apple n xy n lao gong… all through hf if my memory served me right… it had to be… since I was never the one who would socialize… it was fun sticking around the group… though during the 2nd semester I was thrown into another group with barely any one to hold onto… hf never let me out of her reach… all others tat I came to know eventually became “Hi-Bye” friends… and I am having difficulties with remembering their names…

The second yr saw me struggling with those circuits & electronics based modules… but hf, apple n lao gong kept me on the right track by studying n gg to consult professors together… then came the horrible DIP… in which we somewhat managed to get over with lots of cursing (okie at least for me)… the four of us managed to stay together n became the “4 musketeers”…

Then came third year where IA became the major reason tat caused me to not see hf, apple n lao gong for a very long time… in my 8 months long of attachment, I came to know xue ying… I still remember how she helped me collected some papers during the first day… n how she, with her cheerful character, allowed me to quickly find my anchor point in the big group of students who seemed to knew each other very well… n beibei who showed me the ropes to many things due to the “lack of attention” from my supervisor (^o^)… IA also allowed me to stay away from exams and studies… it was a fun experience for me (minus the stress of been under my supervisor) in short…

Not much could be said for the forth yr… in which hf and lao gong majored in another field… I only managed to still stay together with apple during the 1st semester… though the 2nd semester had me once again trying to find a few “Hi-Byes” friends… but hf had been putting a lot of efforts to let xiaoyang know tat I still have gt her despite not been able to see each other so often…

I do hope to continue to keep in touch with hf, apple, lao gong n xy… they helped me a lot through the 4 yrs in NTU… we may be separated, and concentrate on traveling down our own paths tat might never cross to chase our own dreams… but I do hope tat the friendship (however weak it may be) tat we had established over the span of a short 4 yrs be able to withstand the test of time n distance…

And hf… do not forget to give me your address… I am waiting to write my first letter to you (*o*)…

*******************************************



Trauma
歌:浜崎あゆみ

kyou no ureshikatta kao kyou no kanashikatta kao
kinou yowakatta jibun to ashita kitto tsuyoi jibun to
anata nara dare ni misete'ru watashi nara dare ni misereba ii

The happy face I had today, the sad face I had today
The self that was weak yesterday, the self that will surely be strong tomorrow
Who are you showing it to? Who should I show it to?


jikan nante mono wa totemo toki toshite zankoku de
demo sono zankokusa yue ni ima ga tsukurarete

Time is sometimes a cruel thing, it becomes more so as time goes by
But it's through this cruelty that the present is created


hito o motome yamanai no wa isshun no kaihou ga
yagate otozureru kyoufu ni katte iru kara

The reason we constantly yearn for people
Is because the momentary liberation wins over the fear that eventually creeps in


ashimoto de yurete iru hana ni sae kidzukanai mama de
toori sugite kita watashi wa kagami ni mukaenaku natte iru

I walked past without even looking at the flowers that swayed at my feet
I can’t look in the mirror anymore


kyou no ureshikatta kao kyou no kanashikatta kao
kinou iyasareta kizu to kyou fukaku hiraita kizu o
anata nara dare ni misete'ru watashi nara dare ni misereba ii

The happy face I had today, the sad face I had today
The wound that healed yesterday, the deep wound that opened up today
Who do you show? Who should I show?


ataerareta jibun dake no shouki to kyouki ga ate
sono dochira mo hitei sezu ni sonzai suru nara

I’ve been given my own kind of sanity and insanity
If I’m going to exist without denying either


muda na mono afurete shimatta mono yakudatanai mono mo
mayowazu ni erabu yo sou watashi ga watashi de aru tame ni ne

Then I’m going to choose the useless things, and the things I have loads of
And even the things that are no use to me
Without hesitating, so that I can be me


shiawase no kijun wa itsu mo jibun no monosashi de kimete kita kara
Because I’ve always set my own standards of happiness

kyou no ureshikatta kao kyou no kanashikatta kao
kinou iyasareta kizu ga kyou hirakidashita to shite mo
anata nara dare ni misereru watashi nara ano hito ni misetai

The happy face I had today, the sad face I had today
Even if the wound that healed yesterday begins to open again today
Who do you show? I want to show him


Credits: IMEEM and Kiwi Musume's Jpop Page

*******************************************

不是我們的天空
我們無法飛翔
我們唯一能做的
就是盡量不要掉下來


タンシンフォン ... 8:56 PM
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はじめまして。
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よろしく おねがいします。

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Don’t Look Back
浜崎 あゆみ

Modore nai modora nai kaeru basho wa mou nai
Ikura furikaette mo kaerare nai
Kirei na ashiato ni nuri kaeta tokoro de
Jibun no kokoro dake wa damase nai

I can’t go back, I won’t go back, there’s nowhere left for me to return
However much I look behind me, I can not change my footprints
And even if I paint over them beautifully
My mind won’t be deceived


(Don't look back) Kakkowarui
(Don't look back) Tokoro koso ga itooshii

(Don’t look back) The unattractive
(Don’t look back) parts of myself are dear to me


Modore nai modora nai kaeru basho wa mou nai
Ikura furikaette mo kaerare nai
Kirei na ashiato ni nuri kaeta tokoro de
Jibun no kokoro dake wa damase nai

I can’t go back, I won’t go back, there’s nowhere left for me to return
However much I look behind me, I can not change my footprints
And even if I paint over them beautifully
My mind won’t be deceived


(Don't look back) Waraeru no wa
(Don't look back) Toori sugita kara koso

(Don’t look back) I can smile
(Don’t look back) Because that period is over


Susumi tai susume nai sou yatte Mayotte
Iru tte koto wa mou mayotte nai
Koko de todomaru nara ikuraka raku kamo ne
Dakedo mune o kogasu shigeki mo nai

I want to go forward, I can’t go forward
Hesitating like this means that I won’t hesitate anymore
It would be easier for me to stay here
But nothing would excite me


Nee dare mo kamo iidasu no wa
Ichiban kagayaite ta koro no jibun
Nante sore wa kanashi sugiru wa

What fulfils everyone is the period in their lives when they shone the most
How tragic that is…


Don’t look back

Susumi tai susume nai sou yatte Mayotte
Iru tte koto wa mou mayotte nai
Koko de todomaru nara ikuraka raku kamo ne
Dakedo mune o kogasu shigeki mo nai

I want to go forward, I can’t go forward
Hesitating like this means that I won’t hesitate anymore
It would be easier for me to stay here
But nothing would excite me


Modore nai modora nai kaeru basho wa mou nai
Ikura furikaette mo kaerare nai
Kirei na ashiato ni nuri kaeta tokoro de
Jibun no kokoro dake wa damase nai

I can’t go back, I won’t go back, there’s nowhere left for me to return
However much I look behind me, I can not change my footprints
And even if I paint over them beautifully
My mind won’t be deceived


Konna fuu ni maku wa orosu
Anata nara ...

The curtain falls in this way
And you…


Don’t look back

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